What a wonderful world

This week one year ago I was lost. I had moved out of my house onto my best friend's couch and then to a sublet that was unfurnished. I lived with one pot, one pan, a chair, and a bed. I was alone, not in school, not sure what I was going to do, and making no money at my job. 

My parents were trying to be supportive, but trying at the same time to convince me to go home to a man who did not want me because that was the "right" thing to do in their minds. My friends did not know what to say. My sister gave me an illegal substance in hopes it would at least allow me to escape periodically. 

One year later I have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. I do not write this to brag, I am writing this because it can be done. You can make your life what you want. The hardest part is figuring out what you really want.

I am now in graduate school pursuing a career I will not only be good at, but will enjoy. I am making good grades. I am working a job that will prepare me for the future. It is ridiculously hard, but it is training me in so many ways for the future. I am a recovering codependent in the maintenance stage. I have set boundaries and have kept them with those close to me. I am home with the man I love working every day to better our partnership. Our partnership has survived the worst because I was able to look at myself without him and become someone I like. I am part of the history of this country that elected a president willing to learn from the past and change the future. 

Change is hard. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. It was so hard because I had to make the change for myself. That sounds like it would be the easiest reason for change, but not for someone who thought like I did. 

This week is the anniversary of the week I told my husband it was over. It is also the anniversary of the day I started standing up for myself. I did not think when I started this path that I would get the exact thing I wanted most. It wasn't until I wanted something for myself more than any other person that I got what I wanted. I am very proud of myself today. I have a new life, and I have it because I DID IT. 

I have a feeling of such hope. I am getting teary like I did during Obama's speech in 2004, and during his acceptance speech Tuesday evening. Change is possible. The future is brighter for me because I realize this truth. 

I did not think that 2008 was going to be a good year. But it has exceeded every expectation.